Death and Other Happy Endings by Melanie Cantor

Author:Melanie Cantor
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2019-07-08T16:00:00+00:00

Day 53

I’m woken by the early morning light and that queasy feeling I hoped I would be spared. Harry is on his side, turned away from me, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders telling me he’s still sleeping.

I slip quietly from under the covers and tiptoe into the bathroom then fall onto my knees, throwing my face over the lavatory bowl as I fumble for a towel to put over my head in a desperate attempt to muffle the sound. I stay there, shivering, staring into the sullied bowl waiting for it to be over. I flush, cringing at how intrusive the noise of water sounds.

How long, Lord? How long? What do I have to do in order for you to allow me some final moments of unencumbered joy? What? Tell me, Lord, Universe, whoever the hell’s in charge, and I’ll do it.

There’s a knock at the bathroom door. “You okay?”

“Don’t come in, Harry,” I plead. “It’s a war zone.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, no. I’m okay now. I’ll come out. Just give me two.”

I stagger to my feet, throw water over my face, check my nose isn’t bleeding—it isn’t—brush my teeth then gargle with my mouthwash.

Harry is standing by the door, waiting for me, his face ashen.

“Oh, baby,” he says. “I’m so sorry. Come back to bed.” He lifts me in his arms and puts me back under the covers then climbs in next to me.

“I had no idea,” he says. “You cover up so well.”

“I didn’t want you to have to witness that. Honestly, I’m trying to keep the gruesome parts from everyone until I have no other choice.”

“You don’t have to keep them from me,” he says, looking into my eyes. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“I promise you, what you did for me last night surpasses everything.”

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